nice day out

Get up early and we drive to Spitchwick. Get some meat to eat on the way at Tesco in Newton Abbot. At Spitchwick the water is freezing and our barbecue is a dud. We steal a big disposable barbecue from a family, and throw it in the river when we are finished with it. We bark at some girls and they leave. Me and Matt and England go down the rapids. They have nice rubber rings but I have two pathetic inflatable helicopters. I put my left leg in the pink one and my right leg in the baby blue one and start to go down the river. As soon as the rapids start I fall back and start flailing around with my legs spread apart, with no control I flow down the river careering over rocks and boulders, cutting up my legs and bruising my bum. At the the bottom of the rapids I begin to cry and get out of the water. When England and Matt are not looking I do one and run all the way back to Dave and Laney with an inflatable helicopter around each of my two arms.

After Spitchwick we go to the River Dart Country Park. We don't pay because Alex England knows everybody, everywhere we go, so we tell Cameron that we're having a free visit to the park. We chuck rocks at ducks, climb the spiderweb and shout at little kids. Dave does a wheel spin and the families around us are a bit stuck-up. On the way back we don't see Acres, but later find out he had driven all the way there and back on his own without seeing us.

In the evening-time we go to the Langstone and watch the football, its a bit boring and Tom Lane goes home afterwards. We get England from his work and there is a bit of trouble. Elliot Tucker has been shooting his mouth off around town telling people hes head-chef at the Smugglers. "Oi Elliot why have you been telling people your head-chef" says Alex. Elliot smacks his hands on the bar, a bit pathetically and with a voice of indignation says: "I can't take this bollocks anymore" and storms out of the room with a rigid posture, he looks a bit robotic, just less graceful. Some ginger bitch woman and a spic cunt named Paulo give us some shit. We leave and England will quit the next day.

At Dawlish Warren Dave is getting annoyed waiting for his mum so he smacks his windscreen and it smashes. It is an idiotic altercation and we go to Tesco 24 hours after and then go dogging.