Dave and Imogen have been running strong for years. It is two-thousand and fourteen and they are engaged with the wedding coming up in October. October the thirty-first. Darryl is lined up to be the best man, and he meets up with Imogen quite alot. They start to have coffee on Wednesday afternoons whilst Dave works at the Co-op. They start to have drinks at The Old Firehouse on Tuesday nights whilst Dave practises ping-pong at the Langstone Cliff Hotel. They start meeting up for sex whilst Imogen tells Dave she is getting her nails done at Jeannies of Knightsbridge on Sunday afternoons.
One Monday morning Dave is not happy because Imogen was supposed to meet him for drinks at The White Harte with her new nails. He isn't very observant, and never notices that her nails are rough and specky but he is observant enough to notice when she doesn't turn up at all. He phones Darryl to play ping-pong but he doesn't answer either so Dave gets a bit pissed off and drives around to Darryl's house with his newest white Ford Escort.
Dave is banging on the door hard because he can be a tad impatient at times. Darryl is banging hard on Imogen because he is close to climax. He hears the door and panicks and stops mid-ejaculation. Running to the door, semen shooting out on the carpet, he rushes to look through the peephole. He see's Dave, he see's the anger in his eyes and it triggers a pulse of shock through his body which causes another burst of cum to pop out of his bellend and stain his black door milky. He grabs his Calvin Classics, puts them on, ignores the stain on his crotch, thinking it could be construed as piss, and opens the door. Dave rushes in, brushing past Darryl and heads straight for the stairs. He trips up on a small wet patch at the top and falls through the half-open doorway to find Imogen curled up in a ball, naked, vulnerable, pale in the corner of the room. She is facing the wall and wont look at Dave even though she knows he's there. He grabs her by the hair and yanks her head towards him. He sees a bluey-purple patch on her left cheek bone and Imogen begins to weep helplessly. Dave runs straight back out of the door, neglecting to comfort her and jumps down the stairs, as he lands his ankle twists but this doesn't slow him down. He heads for the utility room and is rummaging around in the dark, small cave under the stairs. He is inches away from the chain-saw when the doorbell rings again. The door is still open from before and Tom Acres strides through the hallway, Imogen is crawling down the stairs howling like a sick puppy, her bruised face scrunched up with her fringe sticking to her bloodshot eyes. Tom looks at Dave and immediately picks him up by the throat, he pushes Dave up against the wall and repeatedly pummels his face working down to his stomach. With every punch Tom can feel Dave's organs convulsing, his jaw is jarred and bits of sick and blood are spewing out, ricocheting off of Tom's tensed stomach and landing on the black door coagulating with the semen stains from a moment ago.
Darryl flees in fear but before he has finished dragging his lanky left leg through the discharged doorway he is confronted by Sam Davies sprinting into him on his bad knee screaming "BAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRNNNNNNNNES". Darryl is dumbfounded and starts itching his greasy head, he stumbles around in a circle with his stupid mouth open emptying his already vacant brain of any sense of meaning. He sees Ian Mitchell bouncing down the street like a stumpy space-hopper with a pint of Tribute in his hand muttering "You just wait, I'll fucking kill ya bah... Yeaaahhh" in a hoarse voice that doesn't offer any comfort to anybody. Sam Davies heads straight for Imogen, carries her into Darryl's room and starts pounding a ping-pong ball into her pussy with his forehead yelping "Barnes.. Barnes.. Barnes.. Barnes" rhythmically. Mitchell smashes his pint of Tribute over Darryl's head and runs up the stairs to turn off the "fucking gothic music" that is blaring out of Darryl's speakers. He can't find the remote so he simply throws both of the speakers out of the window, the first hits an elderly woman on the head, and she falls to the floor like a big oak tree at the mercy of an angry beaver. TIMBERRRRRRR. the second lands in the pond as the last words "These dreams are calling me" of Ian Curtis are being drowned out by the splish splash splosh. Mitchell then heads back downstairs to deal with Tom, ignoring the bizarre scene taking place in the corner of Barnes and Imogen. Tom has fled the scene, leaving Dave to bleed in the utility room, with a golf club boarding the door shut. Like the Orphanage he does not escape. Mitchell does a line of coke, does a one-eighty on Darryl's skateboard and runs to his Mini Metro and wheel-spins off brushing past Michael Tutty in his racing striped red and white car. This is not an exit.
Friday, 7 August 2009
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