there are worse things you can do than kill a person

You are driving a car - it could be red, yellow, blue, silver, automatic, manual, turbocharged, heck it could even be a reliant robin with three wheels - it doesn't matter what the car is but you pull upto a junction. You want to turn right to get to somewhere, anywhere. You look right and the road is clear. Your right indicator is on and you can hear it clicking in rhythm with your heartbeat. You look left and the road is clear. You start to release the clutch with your left foot and push down on the accelerator with your right foot. You edge out into the road and turn your head to the right-BEEEEEEEEEEEP a loud klaxon reverberates through your brain. A car swerves at high-speed and narrowly misses your bonnet. You slam your foot on the brake, instinctively. You ignore the clutch and the car stalls. Your right indicator is still clicking, but only at a quarter of the speed of your current heartbeat. Time slows down. Bullet-time. You dont feel anywhere near as cool as Neo from The Matrix, but that is what you are reminded of.

You try to calm down and relax, because the scare is over, but it is not. You are not in a car. You have not been close to a fatal car-crash. This is your life. This shock does not fade. Your stomach feels vacant. Your soul is weeping. You are not scared of heights and your are not stood on the peak of Mount Everest, but you feel nauseous beyond relief. Muddled thoughts corrupt your mind and it hurts to think. Crying causes catharsis but it doesn't cause calmness.

This is not the time for art.