England is a liability

Me, England, Dave and Imogen go to the doctors for a family day out. Dave chucks England the keys to his car and England decides to try and rev the engine as a joke to wind up Dave. Something bad happens and the car is already in gear. England is panicking and the car starts to move forward and it stalls, but does not stop. England cant get his feet to the pedals to put the brake on and he doesn't use the handbrake and the car rolls slowly and pathetically into a grass bank in the doctor's surgery car park. It is bad though because there are rocks embedded in the grass bank and they have smashed Dave's metallic blue front bumper. It is a weird thing to happen and Dave punches the side of his bonnet in frustration and it dents. The dents go well with his cracked windscreen, fractured perspective.

We sniff around town trying to find metallic blue escorts with nice bumpers to steal, but we cant find any. Then we go for a drink with Dave's mum at the White Hart. Get drunk around Dave's and get a train to Exeter to see Leftover Crack. I'm so drunk that I don't remember what is happening. There is a lot of people and I am running around in a circle frantically with only one shoe on singing "from town and town and state to state the same old song you love to hate" in a grizzly voice as if I have a sore throat or something.

Something weird happens and the gig is finished and I've lost everybody. I am walking around with one shoe, on my own, around the back streets of Exeter. I hang out with some pretty cool Sweedish guys for a while and see the support band outside with all their gear - or actually maybe the Sweedish guys are the support band - I'm not sure. I end up at Timepiece and everybody is there. Sit with the Lovell, Ema Came, England and Dave for most of the night and don't get a raj. Get picked up buy Antoni Banning and don't have a spliff.

Go to bed and wake up with a broken toe.