I appreciate that this is minor

Some selfish person, probably a woman driver, has a car crash which subsequently delays our bus by seventy-five minutes. I don't like it because I'm used to the effiency of process. I'm a subject of McDonaldization. Also Force Majeur is shut by the time I get home, so I can't buy half price Fred Perry polo's.

We drink Irn-Bru with Vodka, watch The Inbetweeners, and eat Andy's spinach and ricotta lasagne - it is nice. Get a taxi to Wetherspoons where we drink pitchers and laker upsets the girls. At Shades it is sweltering and sweaty. It is really good - but weird. On the way home I phone Dave and find out England has been Date-Raped but he's okay. Then I stumble across two frenchman helping out this drunk guy who is passed out on the curb. For some reason I try to communicate with the Frenchmen in Spanish, but we settle for English.

At home Laker spills coco-pops all over the corridor and Alex sweeps it outside his door - Laker doesn't like this and tries to arrange a fight over facebook chat. Then we have a spliff but Laker spills that off of the balcony aswell. Play Pro-Evo and everybody goes to bed - everybody except for Laker who comes back in my room sketching out, rolling around on the floor with Franco. He's getting on my nerves a bit so he leaves.

In the morning I find out that Laker lost the plot in the middle of the night - running around phoning people up like a madman and throwing up in Corrine's bin.

At Natwest, the woman behind the service desk assures us that she has "destroyed" one of Laker's debit cards before. She accurately describes the situation as - "WEIRD" - and concludes that his "new card is going to have to be shredded". Steak and eggs at the American Diner is lush.