Tuesday

Wake up and it is boiling as fuck so I dont go back to sleep. We just lay around like a pride of lions on the grassy plains next to our tents. Me and Laker go to have a shit and the toilet is disgusting - POO EVERYWHERE and it smells worse than Romanian Gypsy sewage. After the poo we go to the mainstage and see a few shitty bands telling even shittier jokes between each song. Drink an overpriced beer and play football. Look around, find a dodgy tent selling tacky fluorescent attire and fake tattoos. Chris finds out she is selling poppers so we get some. Laker finds out she is selling fake pills so we get some. Sniff loads of poppers at the camp and have a laugh with big heartbeat and hot head. Take fake ecstacy tablet and fall asleep. See my mate Lovell and he pretends he cant tell that Chris is hotstuff for a guy.

Get drunk and go see a DJ - Casper the ghost and Rusko or something. Its quite good untill a mosh pit breaks out and we decide to leave incase we end up massacring the whole tent and ruining the vibe. Laker and Andy do one. I think they are on the phone to me, but it is just the answer phone and I am talking to myself. Rupert gets beans. I find Laker and Andy at the campsite. Lakers head pops out of a tent, followed by Rachel, followed by Poppy - Wierd. me and andy go back to the music and Laker just turns up in the queue. the silent disco is lush because everybody sings different songs completely in-tune - it is music to my ears. Queen is lush but Tenacious D is gay so we leave. on the way back higgins and rupert meet a ket-head who is a wanker. he follows us back and wont trade sausage rolls for ketamine so we slate him. everybody gets in our tent and it is fun for a while, if not a little squashed, and then we eat sausage rolls and sleep.