Tab wants to talk to me

Wake up at Andy's on a bodge-job-bed of two sofas sitting next to each other. I haven't been masturbating but my flies are undone. I get up and walk around the silent house on my own; my legs feel like putty and I stumble into walls and cupboards with my trousers dangling from my knees. It is 1:04 AM. After taking a piss and drinking copious amounts of water I eat four tomatoes from the fridge. Then I wake up Liz and Andy as I munch on a huge chunk of cheese. The cheese is too mellow. Dan thinks I drunk drove last night and didn't make it home. He's weeping because I have no reception. He thinks I'm in a ditch or something by the side of a road.