distract-oholic, focus-ophobic

Josh is driving in his car to London with his sister Emily. He is getting frustrated because the stereo is skipping on the song "I'm Just Going To Leave" by Defiance Ohio. This appears to be a kind of dramatic irony - except that Josh is aware of the irony - for it not to work on the day that he is driving two-hundred miles from home.

On the next page: They stop at a service station and shop for snacks in M&S Simply Food; Josh buys a Chicken, Bacon and Avocado sandwich and a bottle of Valencia Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice, whilst Emily purchases a packet of Strawberries, Cherries and Melon, some Sugar-snap Peas and a bottle of Freshly Pressed Lime Juice. This comes to a cumulative price of over a tenner; Josh has already gambled all but twenty pee of the change in his wallet. They both go back to the car and Sonic Youth is playing, but Josh's retarded bladder waits until now to to inform him that he needs to urinate. On the way back from the toilets two Northern looking guys look at Josh accusingly; one of them has a grey vest on which shows off his un-tanned shoulder blades and the other is sporting a typical grade zero skinhead. Josh's first instinct is to check if his flies are down; they are not; he looks up and the thugs have not averted their gaze; so he walks on thinking to himself that their aggressiveness must be a by-product of their northern upbringing - which is also something he has assigned to the gruesome twosome, devoid of any empirical evidence. In the car "Mote" is just finishing, it is Josh's favourite song on the album "Goo" so he skips backa and Emily is probably a bit annoyed that she has to listen to it again.

After a few chapters of; fields, farms, gorges, gateways, daisy's, ditches transforming into strained, stench-filled, grey geysers of civilisation; Josh and Emily arrive in London, Ham to be precise. They see their family and have an indoor barbecue - it is all very quaint.

They spend a chapter or two watching various editions of Big Brother and its spin-off shows. Emily falls asleep on the sofa because she is probably on a comedown, a hangover at least, but she likes her pills. Josh goes downstairs to watch South Park and Trailer Park Boys. He falls asleep during Trailer Park Boys dreaming about dormant volcanoes and the shock and awe of them erupting at any moment.

On the next page he is woken up by his Dad and he has a shower but the water is too hot. Although this is a rarity when showering, it proves equally, if not more, annoying than a shower that wont heat up. But its one of those things and he soon gets over it.

Josh spends a chapter driving his step-mum and her ex, who is the Father of Josh's Step-Brother Billy to the Pitch and Putt. It is London, but he is adept at driving.

The Pitch and Putt chapters are lost when the sunshine disintegrates into droplets of rain, smudging the whole experience.

Pizza Express is nice for everybody apart from Josh and Emily's Step-Mum: Sue, who is on a strict diet of three milkshakes but no milk. Her single treat comes in the form of one evening meal each day, but even with this; meat, marinade, sauce and flavour are banned.

Josh spends one long chapter reading Chuck and then wastes a couple of pages on Facebook.

For a few stanzas; Emily plays Xbox, their Dad turns the volume up, their Step-Mum turns the volume down, their step-brother has a bath and their little sister goes to bed.