cut some wood with an axe

Sort my back out. Eat a Sloppy Giuseppe pizza. have a bath: wash. Farewell to my Father, Sue and Izzy. See Robin outside Tesco and buy a ham sandwich with ready salted crisps and mineral water. Drive for ages, take one wrong turn. Stop at a service station but the petrol part is closed, so I have a gamble, I win six pounds, buy some lockets, tell myself I am only going to gamble twenty pee more. End up putting the six quid into another machine and lose. Drive to the next service station and fill up the tank. Phone Dan and arrange to meet him. M4.

Get off the motorway in Bristol and end up at 'The Mall' and 'The Venue', its like Plymouth times America. Drive to Dan's and end up outside Chinky Dave's Fish and Chips on the phone to Rupert. I tell him how last night, I went out with Magda in London and met a gay kid from Facebook at "London's [self-proclaimed] Premier Gay Club". I tell him that three faggots were bumming in a cubicle behind me. I tell him that their dancing was sick, and more gay than mine. I tell him that the guy was really friendly and had a gang of gays who bounced around the town communicating in an almost foreign manner. I tell him that we did one because we had no money. I tell him that we catch loadsa buses. I tell him that we went to Hyde Park.

I see some gangsters walking about in the middle of the road, I drive to Dan's and he says the G's are his mates. He gives me some Spaghetti Bolognaise; its nice and spicy and his room has its own shower and backdoor. We go to his mates and they are stoned as fuck. They start spittin some lyrics and blaze on, but I need to get home to say goodby to my mother before she goes to France. Drive back really fast singing Jamie T.

Hug my mum, buy some vodka and Red Stripe. Go around Laneys. We go down to his local pub, there are two in Cockwood, but he is banned from the good one. This one seems alright, the barman is quite friendly. Dave and Darryl argue about crisps, an old wanker tells Karis to "shhhh" with the two fingers over his lips and everything. Dave and Darryl pretend to have a fist fight; five old men come over, looking important, they dont do anything really. They accuse us of hatching plans to steal their bikes and tell us 'our' women have big gobs on them. Now Laney is banned from both pubs in his village. Back at his we play Ring of Fire and Darryl is a Cunt. The girls have to drink, almost every card and we have not even started fixing it yet. Darryl goes to be sick, so Smithy puts him to bed like a young boy, too exhausted to stay up late with the adults.

We hide all the cards so their are only Aces left, because we want Laney to play guitar. He sings Libertines - What a Waster, what a fucking waster, Karis falls inlove. We put on Choking VIctim, Sex Pistols and Ramones on full volume and dance like morons in the living room. We take our tops off and fight - Smithy does the headbutt. We have a rolly brake, and I smoke one to try and fit in. We ring the bell and its really loud and really late. Me and Matt have a little scuffle and he ends up biting my bum and we hug and kiss. "I cant take my eyes off of you" is playing and for some reason I think of shisha, acoustic guitar and room seventy on the third floor of Maritime. In the morning, glass is smashed everywhere, it is cold and everyones head feels like shit, apart from Royston who got some cock and didnt get drunk.

At home I read a book, have a bath, eat a ham sandwich, but only a foldover, because there was only one piece of bread left - apart from the enf of the loaf, but I hate the end of the loaf. Walk down to the beach. Windy. Kick the ball at Emma on the lawn and she gets a train with Karis. See Dave at work in the Co-op and he is polite to customers. Me and Darryl hang around a group of French kids playing football like creeps. Darryl gives one of the girls their jumper and almost goes in for the kiss. They leave and are swiftly replaced by a middle aged couple, running around kicking a massive inflatable green and white patterned football. The man fell off the wall, onto the mud, but the woman walked around the path.

The football goes in the stream loads of times and we walk to my house. Maisy the cat is under my bed and Jemima cant lure her out. Dave says he wants to hang Maisy so Jemima hits him loads and slams the door at him. Beat Darryl at Pro Evo easily around Daves and then go to the Langstone to play ping pong. I eat some chips and a cheeseburger on the patio outside the table tennis room. Drive Darryl home, beep at the Mount Pleasant, get his phone from Laney's. Go to Tesco, where I buy nothing. Listen to Belle and Sebastian - If You're Feeling Sinister on the way home. Watch Southpark and do my teeth.