Take a chance Take a chance Take a ch-ch-ch-ch-chance

In the night I have never taken History for an A level but I have read the Duchess of Malfi by Webster. The fire is nice and my sleeping bag is missing. so I steal one from another tent, but it belongs to osmebody else who wants it back. chris says he hasnt seen mine, which is a lie because he is sleeping in it - the WANKER. In the morning Stu does a poo on the beach which gets infested with flies, because flies love shit. then we leave and drive back. halfway home, out of nowhere, Laker's bag falls off the top of the car and crashes onto the road. so I reverse back and it is fine (we were orignially cruising at an average speed of 40 mph, but while reversing I dropped to a more modest speed of about 15 mph).

Back home I sleep, eat an egg-mcmuffin, drink innocent smoothie, experiment with excretion, and leave for the beach. At the beach Higgins is there and some mates, we play cricket, but it is really easy to score runs. I have no money so I cant get a pannini which costs five pounds. or an ice cream. We go to Gylly beach cafe and get a curry and a pint, then we go to the Beacon to pick up some weed. When we get home we smoke some but Dan goes to bed like a faggot.

In the morning we embark on a roadtrip down south - the dirty south - although the lizard turned out to be extremely clean and attractive. the lizard point is the most southerly part of England. First stop Tesco, swiftly followed by 'Sounds OK' because we feel like listening to Abba Gold. It is six pounds well spent and we get our groove on to it through town and all the way to Keynance cove. on the way Laker takes pictures out of the window. The beach is alright, nice sea, nice sand, okay pebbles and we get high on the cliff. Laker and Dan go off up a hill to have gay sex or something, so me and Rupert start waving and blowing kisses at an elderly couple across the river from us. They dont seem too impressed and when we walk past them they dont respond to Rupert's greeting. Rupert also asks a woman how much the boat next to her costs. because it wasnt her boat she didnt know how much it would cost though. I win at triple jump, Dan does a handstand, Rupert writes an autobiography and Laker takes pictures. Then we catch a hot couple after they have been trying to hump in a cave. so we follow them around the beach like weirdos for a bit. We light another spliff and climb on a rock like hyenas cos we have all fallen inlove with this blond girl. so we sing her 'in the jungle the mighty jungle' originally performed by ~ Timon and Pumba, 'I've never met a girl like you before' once sung by Edwyn Collins and 'One Track Lover' orchestrated by the actor Todd Rivers. The girl probally doesnt even hear us, but her parents do and they leave the beach in disgust. Back at the car we air out the car and put on Abba again. so we kick a basketball around the carpark(which is a field) and dance at cars that drive past. Our girl is probally touching herself in the backseat when she sees us.